Suddenly someone far up deck yells. First there was silence, then a small rumour starts up the deck. Slowly I wake up. Last months I've been running duty with very little to no sleep at all. I therefore damn them for making all that noise and piquedly turn myself in my hammock away from all the yelling. Almost sleeping again the door of our deck slams open: "LAND AHOY!". It took a few seconds to fully reach me, but when it did I jump up and fall out of my hammock due excitement. Everybody on the ship is now running to the deck. With a lot of effort I try to push me a way to the prow. I looked towards the horizon. First I saw nothing, but then. There it is! Land! Finally home!
I am back!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Bottled message
Slowly I reach for the the bottle. I already noticed that it contains a piece of paper. Gently I try to remove it, fearing the paper might tear. While scratching my head I read:
"To whoever finds this message:
Hello dear stranger. Much years could have passed by the time you read this, but you have fulfilled my goal. I might not know you, but nevertheless I want to deeply thank you for opening this bottle. In return, let me tell you something about myself.
Out there, where you are, there are people who know me as "Bebas Pikiran". I used to be a place where they gathered, where I told them stories, where they shared their thoughts. It was a rather small community, small but pleasant. I intentionally said 'used'. Hard time came. I won't deny it was for selfish purposes, but I had important things to concentrate on. I left them, for I needed time. However, I've become consciousness of this action, which I can't solve on my own.
Dear stranger, I know I have no right to ask this from you, but if you read this, please; Tell them I'm sorry, tell them I'll be back. I don't know for how long I'll be gone, but I know for sure it won't take long. No, it won't.
Please fullfill this once in a lifetime request,
Bebas Pikiran"
...
Now what the hell is this doing in my refrigerator?
"To whoever finds this message:
Hello dear stranger. Much years could have passed by the time you read this, but you have fulfilled my goal. I might not know you, but nevertheless I want to deeply thank you for opening this bottle. In return, let me tell you something about myself.
Out there, where you are, there are people who know me as "Bebas Pikiran". I used to be a place where they gathered, where I told them stories, where they shared their thoughts. It was a rather small community, small but pleasant. I intentionally said 'used'. Hard time came. I won't deny it was for selfish purposes, but I had important things to concentrate on. I left them, for I needed time. However, I've become consciousness of this action, which I can't solve on my own.
Dear stranger, I know I have no right to ask this from you, but if you read this, please; Tell them I'm sorry, tell them I'll be back. I don't know for how long I'll be gone, but I know for sure it won't take long. No, it won't.
Please fullfill this once in a lifetime request,
Bebas Pikiran"
...
Now what the hell is this doing in my refrigerator?
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Open curtains
Suddenly that door bangs loudly. Firstly, I didn't react to it at all, but straightaway I felt this soft warm feeling. I tried to open my eyes, quite unsuccesfull I have to say, because it took me six minutes to notice the sun had already fully penetrated into all the corners of my room. I like it this way, sleeping with the curtains open. By theories on my own it allows me to wake up in a more natural way. It allows me to always wake up with a fresh mind. To wake up whenever I want, feeling like every nocturnal adventure is used to its fullest extent. At least...
It can't be this late. I've never overslept this much; I never did. Without hesitation I jumped out of my bed and flew downstairs. In a glance I noticed; nobody. Thoughts were quicly running through my mind. Perhaps my family left the house? But where to? Before I completely lost myself, I decided to first have some breakfast, perhaps that would ease the mind. I wasn't even near the kitchen, or suddenly I saw it moving. Immediately I stood still and looked at it. It seemed to last for hours. In fact it where just seconds, since I was looking at our clock hanging on the wall. I took a glance on my own watch and confirmed.
I tried to find a chair to sit on. What a relief! I totally forgot that this night we switched to summertime, meaning all clocks are put one hour in advance. Now that I'm thinking of it; what a stupid idea it is. The main reason is always: "You'll have an hour more sun in the evening, so energy will be saved". Hello-o, are you forgetting we also need to wake up an hour earlier now? When it's still semi-dark? Not to mention that in a few months it doesn't matter if we shift the time or not? And where is that chair!
There was no chair. There were no chairs at all. I suddenly realized, our entire house was empty. Everything was gone, except for that door. This big dark wide open door, but it didn't go to the hallway as it should. I barely had the chance to think, or it was slowly closing. Everything in me knew I should do the opposite; I ran towards the door. I never ran so hard in my life, but I just didn't seem to move forward. It knew it took to long, it was almost closed. But I could almost touch it.
Suddenly that door bangs loudly. Firstly, I didn't react to it at all, but straightaway I felt this soft wet feeling. Instantly I jumped up, completely disoriented, completely soaked in sweat. It was a dream. I slowly laid back in bed again. The clock said I overslept for one hour, at least this time I knew why. Next time, though, I'd better try to sleep with my curtains closed...
It can't be this late. I've never overslept this much; I never did. Without hesitation I jumped out of my bed and flew downstairs. In a glance I noticed; nobody. Thoughts were quicly running through my mind. Perhaps my family left the house? But where to? Before I completely lost myself, I decided to first have some breakfast, perhaps that would ease the mind. I wasn't even near the kitchen, or suddenly I saw it moving. Immediately I stood still and looked at it. It seemed to last for hours. In fact it where just seconds, since I was looking at our clock hanging on the wall. I took a glance on my own watch and confirmed.
I tried to find a chair to sit on. What a relief! I totally forgot that this night we switched to summertime, meaning all clocks are put one hour in advance. Now that I'm thinking of it; what a stupid idea it is. The main reason is always: "You'll have an hour more sun in the evening, so energy will be saved". Hello-o, are you forgetting we also need to wake up an hour earlier now? When it's still semi-dark? Not to mention that in a few months it doesn't matter if we shift the time or not? And where is that chair!
There was no chair. There were no chairs at all. I suddenly realized, our entire house was empty. Everything was gone, except for that door. This big dark wide open door, but it didn't go to the hallway as it should. I barely had the chance to think, or it was slowly closing. Everything in me knew I should do the opposite; I ran towards the door. I never ran so hard in my life, but I just didn't seem to move forward. It knew it took to long, it was almost closed. But I could almost touch it.
Suddenly that door bangs loudly. Firstly, I didn't react to it at all, but straightaway I felt this soft wet feeling. Instantly I jumped up, completely disoriented, completely soaked in sweat. It was a dream. I slowly laid back in bed again. The clock said I overslept for one hour, at least this time I knew why. Next time, though, I'd better try to sleep with my curtains closed...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Or is it..?
Fifteen years have passed since. Years, time, almost my entire life to be exact. At this very moment I realize how much has happened since then. What I have done, how I have changed. What I was, what I am, how I will be. It's not the first time I'm actually aware of it, but still, all the memories, all the events.
Ask yourself a honest question: what exactly do you remember? If you go back in youself, how far are you able to go? And what do you see? Is it still complete or can't you recognize it anymore? To be honest, I do not know the answer to the latter. For me all my old memories, my thoughts, are still present, but not 'there'. If I should describe it, it's like a flow. I'm still able to see how the flow went, but there's no way to see how it was actually moving on a particular day, on a particular moment.
I'm being foolish. I should be glad I I couldn't, since if I would be able to recall all the details in my life I would literally overflow. Of course this isn't valid for some special memories in my life, but as far as I'm concerened I can be categorized as 'normal'. It's normal that when you get born, you have no memories. It's normal that when you get older, you remind things. It's normal then when you age more, you know even more, but unawarely forget things from the past. It's normal that you at this given moment shouldn't remember anything while you were three years old. Yes, three years, three times. Exactly. The. Same.
Three times I've had this dream, three times unchanged in detail. Unchanged till this very day, still surviving against all the other memories eating up the remainders layer by layer. Now my question to you: how many times have you dreamt exactly the same? And how many times have you remembered exactly the same? As a 'normal' toddler, this can't be his memory.
Or is it...?
Ask yourself a honest question: what exactly do you remember? If you go back in youself, how far are you able to go? And what do you see? Is it still complete or can't you recognize it anymore? To be honest, I do not know the answer to the latter. For me all my old memories, my thoughts, are still present, but not 'there'. If I should describe it, it's like a flow. I'm still able to see how the flow went, but there's no way to see how it was actually moving on a particular day, on a particular moment.
I'm being foolish. I should be glad I I couldn't, since if I would be able to recall all the details in my life I would literally overflow. Of course this isn't valid for some special memories in my life, but as far as I'm concerened I can be categorized as 'normal'. It's normal that when you get born, you have no memories. It's normal that when you get older, you remind things. It's normal then when you age more, you know even more, but unawarely forget things from the past. It's normal that you at this given moment shouldn't remember anything while you were three years old. Yes, three years, three times. Exactly. The. Same.
Three times I've had this dream, three times unchanged in detail. Unchanged till this very day, still surviving against all the other memories eating up the remainders layer by layer. Now my question to you: how many times have you dreamt exactly the same? And how many times have you remembered exactly the same? As a 'normal' toddler, this can't be his memory.
Or is it...?
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